A Tradition

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I can't let this week pass without gratitude for this past year and its many gorgeous moments. Truth be told, there was some roughness in it. I remember a few days of hardcore tears and nights where I'd lay in bed wondering what in THE world I was doing with my life. Still, I love it all, and I carry around a profound appreciation for every second my eyes are open and I am alive. Life is a roller coaster, and I am thankful that my Creator allows me to keep riding.

I am grateful for…

1.   People's oddities—the good and the weird. People who dance awkwardly from the hips in a bath towel, who point their index finger a lot for emphasis, who look at you through the bottom of their bifocals, who get lost going somewhere they've been a hundred times, who can't stand having grass in their shoes, who are convinced every piece of meat is undercooked.

2.   Moments when people surprise you, when they do something so bold or so extremely kind that it wakes you up to life's purpose. And moments when you surprise yourself and do the same. 

3.   Friends who will sleep at your house during a windstorm because you are a scared pansy.

4.   A song that so perfectly fits your mood and elevates your soul, you can't help but listen to it for hours on end.

5.   Babies who lay on your chest and fall asleep to your heartbeat.

6.   Pears and the weeks they are in season.

7.   People who have the courage to look at you in the eyes for a few seconds longer than is usual.

8.   The nerve to take a chance on a new idea, without knowing how it will all work out.

9.   People who make you laugh so hard you have to cross your legs, for people who take the time to make happiness seep out of you.

10. The very real and very important moments when you love yourself and are proud of your authentic, ballsy life.

To Becoming

Last year I wrote about the lost art of accepting compliments. Since then, my friends and I remind each other to gracefully accept the kind things people say to us. A few weeks ago, a friend mentioned that he also struggles accepting compliments, often because they feel too finite: you are a great soccer player, you are very smart, you are kind, you are very handsome. To him, it sounded like he'd already achieved each of these things, which he didn't think was completely true. Knowing that self-talk is critical to success, he developed the habit of putting "becoming" before each compliment he gives himself: I am becoming a great soccer player, I am becoming a kind person. Instead of adding a little sugar to make the medicine go down, he adds a little medicine to make the sugar more believable.

Many of us struggle with this. Because we are not at the finish line, but also no longer at the start, we forego giving ourselves much needed credit for all that we've accomplished. We only see the areas where we still need to improve and the length of the path left to walk. Maybe our compliments should be more like our lives then—in motion and in progress. By adding "becoming" to each thing we want to believe about ourselves, we satisfy the part of us that needs encouragement to keep going and the part that needs to feel the deficit so we'll continue working hard.

So here's to living in the becoming—the fabulous gray area that celebrates who we once were and who we one day hope to be.