The Nougat

I came back from Italy to cooler temperatures, crunchy leaves, and days that feel golden when you're out in them. A palpable change happened while I was away, and I've tried to slow down the pace of my life and simply enjoy the Fall. I started the weekend out with a party, which would usually make me shutter, but instead seemed like a fun alternative on a Friday night. For someone who is more comfortable in small groups than large crowds, I was surprised at both the ease and energy I brought to the night, introducing my friend and I to many new people. I balanced out this night of genuine socializing with a rainy Saturday soccer game, some low key friend time on Saturday night, and a Sunday afternoon of experimental pumpkin pancakes and a big helping of Netflix streaming el solo.

As I sat in my car late Saturday night, a nine-minute song finishing on my iPod and my windshield wipers sweeping water in sync with the music, I realized that I was truly in the thick of my own unique life. I felt a strong ownership over every dumb thing I've done, every banal or flat moment that I've waded through, every moment that turned out not quite like I'd planned. I smiled that I am eating canned beans heated on the stove because I spent too much money on a pair of Italian shoes. I accepted my nights curled up in my leather chair watching a movie alone. I honored the big questions, the great kisses, the sometimes sad mornings, and the long Sunday afternoons. I embrace them because they are mine. Despite it all and because of it all, I am living in the nougat of my own life.

So here is to being in the thick of it, whether it involves living in someone's basement, cheerios in a car seat, or too many baked beans for one week. Here is to our own beautiful existence, whatever it brings. Here's to our nougat.